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~Ma Freeland~January 28 Lord's wingFor your info, my grandfather died on 12/2/2007
for your additional info, my uncle who were the son of my grandfather died on 27/1/2008
I am flipping on the calender and counting,
It's less than a year of time.
My uncle who suffering the dialysis treatment since 17 years ago.
while he is 23, couple of his kidney out of function and the only way is to replace a new kidney
Yes, my grandpa he gave one of his kidney to my uncle.
Well, my uncle didnt get to enjoy a peaceful life whenever the only kidney failured.
So, he started his life with dialysis treatment, 3 times a week. In all weathers
Due to the dialysis treatment, he couldn't go too far since he need to do that on time
the farest place he went before, i think Singapore.
I told my uncle i'd never be in the air, he said he wont have it even once
Life goes on, my uncle stil enjoy his life even he's having those tough days
Things happened whenever after my grandpa's funeral
he felt weak and even get bleeding from his excrement
after few times of checking, finally doctor diagnose that's the symptom of LIVER cancer
Kidney failure + Liver cancer
Doctor said nothing to do with that
not even operation
After struggling for 7 month
uncle's stomach growing like a drum,
but his body was just tiny!!
Early morning of 26th Jan 2008
we get a call from hospital mentioned that uncle wish to see all of us
we rushing there and saw
He's laying on the patient bed,
groan unceasingly,
he might just end his life without supporting by the machine
But he did not do so,
He is trying his best until the last minute
trying his best to extend his life time, even a second time
Suddenly,
he told me he saw ANGELS
i told him to rest..in peace, i ask uncle to follow the angels..
i wanted him to close his eyes
i wish i could takeover his pain, i hope
Finally, 27th Jan 2008, 11pm
My great uncle
Ended his life
But his spirit and the sweet memory wil always linger in our mind
Uncle... January 10 Unknown themelong time i've never leave anything here
maybe i think that nobody will even read and reply me
but it's alright i wrote this for my future grandaughther
Power of Love~
do not overlook the magic of love
i witness the changes of a girl
100% different from last time
that's great!
but who knows? what's her boyfriend think bout their relationship
this is what i worried
I really dont know y some of them cant leave without love
i mean the love in the sense of "chesmistry" between a guy and a girl
undeniable, i wish to be loved too
wish her happiness last long!
Loneliness~
yeah finally i know how it taste
yucks' so bitter
this is the first time i feel this way while i am in a crowd
in a crowd with smoky, noisy, abandone
basically
i used to it
but surprisingly
i felt lonely among them
because i cant find a people like me
loneliness, the revelry of a single body
revelry, because of the loneliness of the crowd
that's easy
i am no longer in the crowd
Maybe good?
or bad?
December 20 I can't sleep tonight I always don't understand why some of them can live their life to the fullest and happily.
I wish i could do it so as im a human who look for hapiness and satisfaction in my life as well.
We will keep spend all our time on WAITING to get a second chance in whatever we want
But when the storm keeps on twisting, human will keep build up the lie which u make it up for all that u LACK.
That's true, That's really really true..
Tomorrow will be a sleepless day again, sigh
I clearly know that this kind of night and weather will make people think alot,
but the worst thing is i like this kind of night very much!!
Opps...
Recently there's alot of 臭男人 surround me,
issit because i am busuk also? So they like to stick to me?
Ho Ho Ho~
Can somebody feel my heart?
I just need someone who really sincere to me
I wish i could have a nice sleep tonight!
Sweet Dream Dear..
November 28 A letter for you,GrandpaDear Grandpa,
How are you my dear grandpa?
I heard from mama that grandma, aunties and uncle all went to visit u today right?
I am so sad to hear that your new place have not build up yet
It's nearly 6 month time already, but your new place still not build up yet
means you cannot sleep well? due to you never have a nice bed?
How's the ciggarettes today that uncle gave it to you?
Do you like it? I think you had been long time didnt smell the ciggarette already right?
Grandpa, i really wish you may rest in peace. just that, i understand there's a problem
plus
i am not too blind to see
Grandpa, do u know why your new place have not complete though?
It's because of your dear son, my uncle. He is so sick.
Doctor said this might be liver cancer
today - 28/11/2007 once again he entered into hospital
He is having high fever that he never had before
from 70 KG to 44KG, Uncle, are you alright?
Eevery monday and wednesday uncle have to go hospital for his weekly activities.
Today uncle was not around when mama went to visit you
Grandpa, please dont let uncle go, ok?
Even doctor said there's only for another 3 month
But we beieve there's a miracle.
Dont let him go..please
I will be missing ya,
From your useless grand-daughter
November 27 "Put The Blame On me"
When u come to the end of a road, and u found out there is no way to let u turn around or U-turn, OH NO~!! i supposingly do not compromise anything that againts my principle! my mind and heart and vino got a big bang~~ ouch!! it was painful! I wan to learn things Fast, i wan to do things efficiency, i wan to be productive and qualitative.. I Wish I Can
*Pray for me* |
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